round one

January 2 was my first meeting with my mom for 2008. i came from the province. i spent my Christmas and new year there. my mom picked me up in the baliwag bus terminal, that time, she was not feeling good. she had fever and she vomits every hour.

January 3, her fever was gone but she has muscle pain on her right arm. so, i didn't go to school---my classmates even thought i was really serious about the boycott (i planned to boycott the resume of class because it was too early.hehe.) she can stand to vomit, go to the cr but she needs help.
January 4, she felt worse so i sent a group message to all to pray for her fast recovery. many responded. i just massage her arm to at least ease the pain. she's feels relaxed when she is massaged.

January 5, still the same. she even watched startalk to know about jennilyn Mercado having been preggy of Patrick Garcia. and we also watched Pinoy Big Brother's Big Night. we just didn't finish it because i was sleepy already.

January 6, morning, i woke up hearing her slamming the wall near her. i know she was calling me. but she never said my name. now, it's worst. but i thought it'll just be for an hour or two. after an hour, she's getting worst. i didn't know what to do. all i did was to cry and say "ma,sorry. di kita maalagaan." and she was able to sit down with my help and hugged me. that moment, i knew she was sort of saying goodbye. but i just didn't focused on it. i started to call up Bro. Mon, her pastor friend to pray for her fast recovery. then my tita called up my tito kc who works in st lukes as a nurse aid.
Bro Mon and my tito kc arrived at the same time. they both went upstairs. tito kc said we bring her to st lukes. but he we needed help to bring mama in Bro Mon's van. she can't stand that they needed to bring the whole cushion in the van.

In the van, I even had my last hirit for mama---ma, sosyal. st lukes ka. she was brought in the ER and they all attended to mama.my bestfriend, Carissa, left her dad, who was just opearted, to see my mom. going back, many were connected to mama. she was even ventilated. she had 7 dextroses. she was diagnosed stroke. so the doctor, who was our relative, Dr. Guiab, suggested that she should be in the ICU after the CT scan. we were in the ER for 4 hours. and when her bp was stabilized, we brought her to the CT scan. she was still able to go inside the CT scan, but when she was about to get out, her heartrate became lower so one nurse pumped her heart. FYI, i was outside. i didn't want to see what's happening. then i just heard the toooooooooooooot. and she's gone.
it happened so fast. i kept crying. she was not breathing. sad. hmm.
we didn't have the time to talk to each other. i just whispered to her, ma, kasama mo na si God. Lagi mo akong babantayan. Sorry sa lahat. At magiging teacher ako :)
God prepared me for it. but it was really too fast. im just happy for her because she is now with our Creator. if i cry, it's not because i blame God for getting her, it's just that i miss her :)

I stay strong because of her. and i hope to inspire you guys to stay strong whatever trials God gives you. God bless!